I would say my addictive behavior started in childhood, although I did not pick up my first substance until I was 16. Getting rewarded for doing something good. Eating a piece of cake when something felt bad. Getting lost in make believe lands to escape my loneliness. Being naughty for no reason. Shit, even getting that personal pizza for reading books. These were all early precursors to the esteemed dopamine hits that I would chase for nearly 20 years.

Nearly half of my life was spent in what some experts call “active addiction”. Some chapters, I was able to manage my behavior, some were mild and uneventful, and some were catastrophically wild and graphic. For me, it wasn’t one substance or behavior, I was the “Jack of all Trades” of Escapism. Lucky me ????.

Throughout the years, I struggled with food, alcohol, drugs (Crack, Cocaine, Meth, GHB, Marijuana, Acid), sex, gambling, you name it, if the short term was “feel good vibes”, I was in. All the way in. And then completely under.

Along the way, I lost houses, cars, privileges, jobs, my business, friends, family members, pets, and countless possessions. No tangible thing that I ever lost was ever enough for me to look in the mirror at ME! Escaping into whatever substance, or behavior, that was trending in each era, became my only coping mechanism. Outside sources had consumed 100% of who I was, what I wanted, and how I functioned.

One horrible day (let’s face it, towards the end they were all horrible), I woke up on my bathroom floor, with a needle still stuck in my arm. I had been awake for 4 days, and I had fallen asleep on my bathroom floor, poking myself like a rag doll to find a vein. They were all like Anne Frank, in hiding, or destroyed. I can’t tell you if I gave up, or that I didn’t want to live like that anymore. If you want me to be brutally honest, it was probably the perfect storm. Either way, that was the last day of my imprisonment. Was that the last hard day?! Not even close!!!!! I was completely alone, which was by my own design, and really did not know what to do, or where to go.

I created this organization to help humans have less struggle, laser focused self-discovery, and ultimately, get to the life they want and deserve, a bit more efficiently than myself. This is the middle. The work. The Journey. My own personal road to self-discovery and mastery of my own life. I hope it provides an outline of humor, tools, and reality to support your “middle”.

I wouldn’t say my current life is perfect by any stretch, although I have regained and found all of the tangible things that I lost along the way. I also have love for me, I get to love, and am loved deeply and madly by many, so it’s as imperfectly perfect as I could have ever imagined. I wish you incredible strength, perseverance, and tenacity in your journey to your becoming.

All my love,
Genuinely Joey

Joey's Story